Apprehensive Excitement

For three years my husband and I have been trying to plan an Irish Getaway. We've postponed this trip twice. Always for financial reasons.

The first year, Eric felt it was irresponsible to go on such an expensive vacation when we had a significant amount of credit card debt. He was right. So we postponed our trip one year and used the money to pay off our credit card.

Last year we had planned and saved. We were SO excited! Then we were hit with a huge financial brick. We had to use everything we'd saved plus a generous loan from a family member to dig ourselves out of financial ruin. Once again, Ireland got postponed.

Which brings you up to date.

Our debt will be paid off this month *insert angels singing here* and we can start planning again. We've covered our financial bases well this time. (At least for the foreseeable future.) We're starting to plan for our trip... again.

I have to admit that I'm quite apprehensive this time. I've been disappointed twice before and I'm a little bit afraid to let myself get so excited only to be let down again.

Then I look up at my office windowsill and see our "Ireland or Bust" jar. We've been diligently putting our change and spare dollars in there. It's quite heavy now! That makes me excited!

I'm looking forward to planning this trip again. I know that God's timing is perfect and that we'll enjoy the trip much more because of what we've been through.

Today's Blessing

This has been a really bad week for me. I'm not even going to go into why. All you need to know is that today, I'm blessed by this promise:

"I remember my affliction and my wantering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" Lamentations 3:19-23

Today's Blessing

I'd like to take a moment to share with you some internal dialogue I had today. It takes some setting up, but I promise you, it will be worth staying with me until the end.

I have this shirt that I got for being on the staff of vacation bible school at our church this summer. It's black and has "The JESUS Expedition" written in huge, bright orange letters across the front of it.

I don't wear this shirt much. Not because I don't like it, but because I don't really wear a lot of black. Especially when it's in conjunction with orange... eh, hem... QUACK!

I was in my bedroom getting dressed for tonight's zumba class. I had my awesome zumba pants on and was trying to decide on a shirt.

I usually wear a quick-dry tanktop to the gym, but it was cold today and I was looking for something with a little more coverage. I decided on a t-shirt.

My zumba pants are black so naturally the most flattering (yes that's right, I put this much thought into what I wear to the gym) color would be black. For some reason, I put on my BLUE Bridge Pedal t-shirt. It wasn't pretty...

This is the internal dialogue that followed:

"This looks stupid, I should just wear the Jesus shirt."
"UGH, I don't really wanna wear the Jesus shirt."
"It's black and will hide the fat rolls better."
"But then it's like wearing a Jesus billboard."
"And the problem is...???"
"I hate being labled as something before they even talk to me."
"But I AM a Christian. It's not like most people don't already know that."
"Am I ashamed to wear a Jesus billboard?!?!?!"
"Am I ashamed to wear the name of the man who sacrificed everything for me?"
"This is so stupid! He suffered a horrible death on a cross all to save me from my own sins and I'm standing here complaining because I don't wanna wear a shirt with His name on it TO THE GYM!"
"I'm pathetic."

*I put on the Jesus shirt*

"Wow, I look skinnier in this shirt. Huh."

Today I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can proudly wear a t-shirt that proclaims the name of my Lord and Savior!

My Daily Blessing

I have been fighting with feelings of frustration, inadequacy, loneliness and dissatisfaction for about the last year.

I mentioned these feelings to my Tuesday morning bible study buddies this morning. They were all very sympathetic and one woman even had a very good suggestion for me. She said that someone told her once that when she felt that way she should write down one way God had blessed her everyday.

That sounded like a very good (and easy) way of physically seeing how blessed I am.

Since we're so technologically integrated these days I thought my blog would be a good place to write those things down. You see, things tend to get lost in my house, so if I type them out online, I'll never lose them!

I've been thinking all day about what my daily blessing for today would be. I've come up with several things (YEA), but the one I'm most thankful for today is:

My twins are in the same classroom.

They got to do their homework together today because it was a math game that required two players. I think the teacher intended them to play with a parent, but it seemed like a good learning experience for them to play together. (And I was there supervising the whole time.)

Their teacher called me today and told me a little story about the boys. After telling me she said that it has turned out that they do really well in a classroom together and they're wonderful boys. *tear*

I am very blessed today!