Where We Go From "Here"

About 18 months ago my son, Daniel was diagnosed with Asperger's (a social disorder on the Autism Spectrum) as well as Sensory Integration Disorder (a sensory disorder where all his senses are heightened). The process of diagnosis in the medical field was overwhelming and then when school started, we had to go through it all over again. I guess the school district has to do it's own diagnosis in order to offer the right services.

At first I was irritated about that, until I realized how in-depth their diagnosis process is. There was a team of 8 people taking a special interest in my child over a number of months. They had interviews with him, they played with him, observed him and even interviewed his teachers and me.

In the end, the school diagnosed him with High-Functioning Autism. Which is a little bit different than Asperger's, but it still falls on the "Spectrum".

After all that diagnosing, I asked myself and the docs/specialists, "Now what?"

The doctor and the Autsim Specialist at the school both suggested that the first thing I do is read as much about it as I can. Normally I love to read, but some of the literature on Autism is bone dry. However I did find a couple diamonds in the ruff.

My personal favorite is a book called "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robinson. He writes about what it's like to grow up with Asperger's. Not only is it entertaining (he was a very mischievous boy), but it gives me an insight into life as Daniel sees it. It's interesting to read about a social situation from the Autistic perspective. He approaches everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) with a very logical mindset. Even when it came to picking a mate. Little nuances such as sarcasm and humor are completely lost on him. Things that we find funny, he doesn't understand, but he will laugh at things that aren't funny at all to us. 

The thing that I have most appreciated about his perspective is his explanation of his logic. Once he explains it, it makes perfect sense and there's nothing rude in his intentions. His writing has helped me along to understanding Daniel.

Mr. Robinson wrote a chapter about what calms him that was particularly eye-opening. People with an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) often can't stop moving. Whether it's tapping, flapping, waving, shaking, bouncing or shimmying they are almost always moving. They don't always know they're doing it and they can't always control it. Especially when they're excited. He talks about how calming it is when his wife "pets" him. He said that she will just rub his arm, leg, back or hand and he can stop the fidgeting right away.

I discovered this about Daniel a few months ago too. He was being really distracting during church (as usual) and I was desperate to find a way to make him sit still. I had him sit on my lap and I started scratching his back. Immediately he stopped any movement. I was amazed! I stopped scratching and right away he started moving again. It was like a little switch! Now he sits on my lap nearly every Sunday morning. (He's getting a little big though...)

I also recently joined a parent support group through the school district. I wasn't really sure how it was going to help, but I found that it was like a breath of fresh air to sit in a room and talk about behavioral communication with other parents who know what I'm going through. I can't wait until our next meeting.

My little sunbathing beauty!

Living with an ASD isn't very fun sometimes, and I've had to drastically change my parenting techniques with Daniel. He's an amazing little boy though and it's fun to watch him grow and develop in his own special way. His teachers are very helpful in coming up with new ways to teach him what he needs to learn and I'm very thankful for their insight. I have found people very accommodating everywhere he's gone. I only hope I can stay one step ahead of him!