Apprehensive Excitement

For three years my husband and I have been trying to plan an Irish Getaway. We've postponed this trip twice. Always for financial reasons.

The first year, Eric felt it was irresponsible to go on such an expensive vacation when we had a significant amount of credit card debt. He was right. So we postponed our trip one year and used the money to pay off our credit card.

Last year we had planned and saved. We were SO excited! Then we were hit with a huge financial brick. We had to use everything we'd saved plus a generous loan from a family member to dig ourselves out of financial ruin. Once again, Ireland got postponed.

Which brings you up to date.

Our debt will be paid off this month *insert angels singing here* and we can start planning again. We've covered our financial bases well this time. (At least for the foreseeable future.) We're starting to plan for our trip... again.

I have to admit that I'm quite apprehensive this time. I've been disappointed twice before and I'm a little bit afraid to let myself get so excited only to be let down again.

Then I look up at my office windowsill and see our "Ireland or Bust" jar. We've been diligently putting our change and spare dollars in there. It's quite heavy now! That makes me excited!

I'm looking forward to planning this trip again. I know that God's timing is perfect and that we'll enjoy the trip much more because of what we've been through.

Today's Blessing

This has been a really bad week for me. I'm not even going to go into why. All you need to know is that today, I'm blessed by this promise:

"I remember my affliction and my wantering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" Lamentations 3:19-23

Today's Blessing

I'd like to take a moment to share with you some internal dialogue I had today. It takes some setting up, but I promise you, it will be worth staying with me until the end.

I have this shirt that I got for being on the staff of vacation bible school at our church this summer. It's black and has "The JESUS Expedition" written in huge, bright orange letters across the front of it.

I don't wear this shirt much. Not because I don't like it, but because I don't really wear a lot of black. Especially when it's in conjunction with orange... eh, hem... QUACK!

I was in my bedroom getting dressed for tonight's zumba class. I had my awesome zumba pants on and was trying to decide on a shirt.

I usually wear a quick-dry tanktop to the gym, but it was cold today and I was looking for something with a little more coverage. I decided on a t-shirt.

My zumba pants are black so naturally the most flattering (yes that's right, I put this much thought into what I wear to the gym) color would be black. For some reason, I put on my BLUE Bridge Pedal t-shirt. It wasn't pretty...

This is the internal dialogue that followed:

"This looks stupid, I should just wear the Jesus shirt."
"UGH, I don't really wanna wear the Jesus shirt."
"It's black and will hide the fat rolls better."
"But then it's like wearing a Jesus billboard."
"And the problem is...???"
"I hate being labled as something before they even talk to me."
"But I AM a Christian. It's not like most people don't already know that."
"Am I ashamed to wear a Jesus billboard?!?!?!"
"Am I ashamed to wear the name of the man who sacrificed everything for me?"
"This is so stupid! He suffered a horrible death on a cross all to save me from my own sins and I'm standing here complaining because I don't wanna wear a shirt with His name on it TO THE GYM!"
"I'm pathetic."

*I put on the Jesus shirt*

"Wow, I look skinnier in this shirt. Huh."

Today I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can proudly wear a t-shirt that proclaims the name of my Lord and Savior!

My Daily Blessing

I have been fighting with feelings of frustration, inadequacy, loneliness and dissatisfaction for about the last year.

I mentioned these feelings to my Tuesday morning bible study buddies this morning. They were all very sympathetic and one woman even had a very good suggestion for me. She said that someone told her once that when she felt that way she should write down one way God had blessed her everyday.

That sounded like a very good (and easy) way of physically seeing how blessed I am.

Since we're so technologically integrated these days I thought my blog would be a good place to write those things down. You see, things tend to get lost in my house, so if I type them out online, I'll never lose them!

I've been thinking all day about what my daily blessing for today would be. I've come up with several things (YEA), but the one I'm most thankful for today is:

My twins are in the same classroom.

They got to do their homework together today because it was a math game that required two players. I think the teacher intended them to play with a parent, but it seemed like a good learning experience for them to play together. (And I was there supervising the whole time.)

Their teacher called me today and told me a little story about the boys. After telling me she said that it has turned out that they do really well in a classroom together and they're wonderful boys. *tear*

I am very blessed today!

First Day of First Grade!

As many of you know my twins, Daniel and Taylor started first grade this year. Since Daniel has Asperger's, his doctor said it would be benificial to have them in the same classroom for the first year of public school. I sort of had to fight for that because the school district doesn't like twins in the same classroom. Our situation is unique, so they obliged.

>Before this, I had home schooled my kiddos. After several years of that I realized it was too much for me. I'm not consistent enough or organized enough (shocking, I know.) to be a really good teacher. With the added task of watching my nieces and nephew everyday, home schooling became overwhelming.

Daniel and Taylor (Ethan too) were WAY excited for their first day! They waited in anxious anticipation until it was time to go.

We walked the first day because I needed to show them to their classrooms and help deliver supplies that didn't fit into their small backpacks.


When we got to their classroom I made them pause for a minute for a quick photo.


Once they got settled it became clear that it was time for me to leave. Surprisingly I kept it together and didn't cry.


I have to selfishly admit that it's really nice to have the house so quiet during the day. My nephew hardly makes any noise and is a very easy child to care for, so I definately feel the relief.

Now I have all this time... I should be able to keep the house clean and have a nice dinner on the table every night right????

Seeing The Waterfall From The River

Waterfalls are some of the most beautiful things in the world. So majestic. I love taking pictures of waterfalls. I love taking pictures of people with waterfalls. I never thought I'd be able to say I had a picture of me going OVER a waterfall though!

Eric and I went whitewater rafting with some friends (Lisa and George) twice this summer. Both times were some of the most exciting moments in my life.

I'd been whitewater rafting before, but it was on the Deschutes River. This summer we went to the White Salmon River. (Just north of Hood River on the WA side.) I can tell you, the White Salmon River is WAY better! They tell me you go over class 3 & 4 rapids and when the waterfall is open it's considered a class 5. That's pretty intense! (Believe me, I know!)

If you're wanting a high-adrenaline experience, this is a great way to spend your afternoon. We booked with Zoller's Outdoor Odysseys http://www.zooraft.com/ and I HIGHLY recommend them! They are very professional and highly experienced. They are also extremely entertaining on the river! They provide everything you'll need for the trip down the 42 degree river. (Wetsuit, life jacket, helmet and booties.) Including the FUN!







When we went on the first trip they told us we couldn't go over the waterfall because the water level was too high and it was too dangerous. I guess when there's a higher volume of water going over the falls, it creates a larger area of hydrolic suction at the bottom and you get "Mataged" until you drown. That didn't sound like a good time so we happily walked around the waterfall and watched our river guide pull the raft over the falls with a rope. We still had fun on the rest of the trip though. Enough fun that we were planning our next trip before we got out of the boat!

We watched the Zoller's website and Facebook Page until we knew they had opened the waterfall. We wanted to be sure to get to do that the second time around! We booked our tickets and made our arrangements.

All I have to say is that the trip was epic. Did you get that? E.P.I.C.

This is our boat... before...

Coming up on the waterfall our guide (Derek, nickname D-wreck) "parked" our boat so he could be the safety spot. He told the other boats when it was safe to go over the falls. There was someone up ahead giving him hand signals and he would pass that signal on. So we had lots of time to sit there and contemplate what we were about to do.

We watched boat after boat disappear into the unknown. We were close enough to hear everyone scream as they went over and hear the people on the shore cheering for them, but not close enough to know what had happened to them at the bottom.

Finally it was our turn. Derek took our "parking break" off and commanded us to "forward paddle" because you know, the momentum of the river isn't quite enough! This is where I started getting nervous.

There's a command that we practiced a lot before this point. It's called the "Get Down And Hold On". You basically... well... get down and HOLD ON! We paddled as hard and fast as we could until Derek gave that command. Then it was up to the waterfall. Well, you get the idea! We survived and can't wait to go back and do it again!
I dare you to try it. No, I DOUBLE-DOG-DARE YOU!!! I'll be waiting for my thank you note. ; )



L-R: Lisa, Derek "D-Wreck", George, Me and Eric.

The First Step on a Long Road

Have you ever thought that a trip to the doctor would be one of the final steps in your process of illness or suffering, only to find out that it's the beginning of a long road? We had that kind of visit this week.

My son, Daniel was officially diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder and Sensory Integration Disorder this week.

I knew the diagnosis was coming. I think I'd known it for a long time, but it didn't make it any easier to hear when the doctor actually said it outloud. It was like time slowed way down and I was paused in a moment of complete realization that our lives would never be the same.

Asperger's Disorder is a mild form of Autism. It falls in the middle of what's called the "Autism Spectrum" and is more common than you'd think. It's a developmental disorder that affects one's ability to communicate and socialize effectively with other people.

Generally people with Asperger's are socially akward, they don't make eye contact very often if at all, get agitated when their routine is changed, seem to lack empathy, make strange gestures or movements, talk a lot about one or two subjects that interest them and sometimes have delayed motor development.

Sensory Integration Disorder seems to go hand-in-hand with Asperger's. People with Sensory Integration Disorder are hyper sensitive to light, sound and touch (amoung other things). They dislike loud noise or music, prefer to be out of the bright sunlight or bright lights and don't like physical contact.

Daniel is a very bright boy. He's reading well above his grade level and is starting to comprehend what he's reading. He's really good at math and is a full grade level ahead in that subject as well. He even has a pretty good grasp on some of the basic sciences! He's really good with spacial recognition (puzzles, legos, building blocks ect.). He has an active imagination and is generally a very well behaved child.

The issue came years ago when I first started teaching the boys at home. We started preschool when they were 3 years old. They loved every minute of it, but I noticed right away that Daniel was much more easily distracted than Taylor. He understood everything just fine, but it took him a long time to complete things simply because he daydreamed a lot.

I asked someone about Attention Deficit Disorder and they told me he was too young to be diagnosed with that and I should just wait and see how he did in the next couple years. After all he was only three...

The problem never did go away, in fact, it became worse over time. I asked our doctor about Daniel's behavior and he gave me a very large packet of papers to fill out and return to him. I filled it out, but didn't get it back to him for several months. When I did return it, it was lost in the shuffle at the doctor's office and forgotten about.

In those months I had several friends mention Daniel's strange behavior to me. He wasn't misbehaving, but just acting different than the other children.

One of those friends mentioned Asperger's to me. I had no idea what it was, but did some research and was shocked to discover that Daniel fit every single symptom of the disorder to some degree or another.

I contacted his doctor right away asking about the paperwork I'd filled out months ago. He found it and said that Daniel had some symptoms of ADD, but also had other symptoms that didn't fit that diagnosis. He sent me to a specialist who, after several long and intense visits, diagnosed Daniel with these two disorders.

I've only scraped the surface of the tip of the iceburg of information concerning these disorders. I have months, no YEARS of reading ahead of me. It's very overwhelming to even think about, but we know what the problem is and now we can work to make life easier for Daniel.

I am very grateful to have had him diagnosed so early and in an age where help is so readily available to these kids! There are programs in the medical field he will be involved in as well as lots of programs in the public school system he can take advantage of.

I've given myself the weekend to let it soak in and get over the shock. Monday I will start downloading books and articles to my Kindle. I also have to place several phone calls to the school district.

It's the first step on a long road.